September 2nd, 2010 by IamDraven

Oops, published this privately on the 12th.  It’s visible now for you

September 2nd, 2010 by IamDraven

Auntie Draven wants to know; did you realize that she has lost 10% of her total body weight in the last three months?

‘CAUSE SHE HAS!

August 19th, 2010 by IamDraven

Sorry for the lack of updates.  I’m back to full duty at work, and we’re short staffed so many days I’m carrying more than one pager, so  lunch is barely an option, let alone fitting in a blog.

Last night Cane asked me if I wanted to play Star Wars Monopoly when I came over.  I voted yes, because I love board games even though I haven’t played that one in probably ten years.  We ended up playing a game with his Mom.  Well, let’s just say I learned that he does not like to lose.  I have a strategy I used to use, so I used it again.  I kept making deals with his Mom to keep her in the game longer for my enjoyment until finally I had no other option but to annihilate her.  Another hour later he had six properties, three ‘houses’ and I own every other property there is, I have a stack of Monopoly money almost two inches thick and my Millennium Falcons (Hotels) are staring him down.  I asked if he just wanted to admit I whupped him so I could go to bed since I had to work today.  He conceded defeat by packing up the game but wouldn’t admit I had slaughtered him. 

All in all I had a blast, and his Mom gave me permission to address her by her first name. (Miss Draven is all sorts of proper when trying to make a good impression and so far the entire family seems to like me)

However the best part of the evening was when his Mom mentioned that I’ve been sleeping over ever night for the past two weeks or so.  I apologized and said we watch a movie, and sometimes he just wants to hold me when he’s falling asleep and sometimes that makes me fall asleep, and whenever I wake up I go home.  His reply was, “I’m sorry, I like to snuggle with her.” (Mom was not mad, she was just picking on Cane when she brought up me ‘boarding’ at their place.)

I dropped my Monopoly cash and said, “Snuggle?  I believe I remember you saying you hated to cuddle.  When did you decide you were a ’snuggler’?”

“Since now.  Since you.”

“Repeat that out loud with your mother as a witness.”

“Since now?”

“The WHOLE thing.”

“I like to snuggle since now?”

“Yes.  I thought that’s what you said.  You friggin’ pussy.”

And I gave him hell, but the truth is, I sleep better in a single bed with him then in my queen size bed alone.  Which is crazy because Erik and I shared a Queen sized bed at his house and fought over the space all the time.  If he rolls or moves it wakes me and I move with/around him and go right back to sleep.  Same on his end.  It’s even funny that when we both lay on our backs, or one of us on our back and the other on our side we interlace our legs together. 

He remarked the other night that he was shocked I had slept fully clothed.  I told him that he was asleep by the time I got upstairs and I crawled in beside him to watch TV and had fallen asleep.  (When I woke up at 2 am and he made the naked comment I stripped down)  He said how he likes when I sleep naked because he can feel my skin against his.  And I have to say it’s adorable when I’m hazily awake and he moves, then slides his arm around me and rests his hand on my stomach, or slides it down and caresses my buttocks and I feel him smile against my back or when he makes this ‘mmmmhmmm’ noise. 

He made the comment last week that my ass is getting too toned and he wishes it jiggled more.  He says over and over that he supports my weight loss goals because I’m doing it for myself and to be healthy, but he likes me just the way I am.

I’m blessed to be spending every day with a man who thinks I’m sexy,

and loves every curve of my body. 

August 6th, 2010 by IamDraven

I have ingested enough Vicoden to get my Crohn’s flare under control. In about an hour we’re rolling out for vaca to go camping. I’m excited. I haven’t been camping in years. Hopefully we have beautiful weather and a good time overall.  I haven’t been camping since I was in girl scouts.  See ya Monday!

BTW, Auntie Draven says: When you take Vicoden for it’s ‘binding’ properties when you have IBD you can’t orgasam.  But, that gives you the ability to rock it out on your partner so well that he will claw YOUR back and bite your shoulder when he’s finishing.  (insert GIANT smile here.)

June 30th, 2010 by IamDraven

I have some of the most interesting conversations on IM and text message.  People wonder why I break out into hysterical laughter sometimes.  I don’t have time to write  a real blog right now so I thought I’d share some of my funnies. (The black writings are my replies.)

*”I called your Eric a jerk.”

“It’s spelled Erik.  You called him a jerk of all things?”

“It’s all I could get out, if I said anything else I’d use every swear word out there plus make up some of my own as I went.”

Said only as my Skittelz could put it.

*”I only ask because I care about you and don’t want to see you hurt.  Are you sure you should start sleeping with your ex boyfriend again?”

“I NEVER slept with him.  EVER.  This would be the first time.”

“Oh.  In that case, let me rephrase my question.  WHEN are you going to start sleeping with him?”

An IRL convo with my other bestie, Joan.

*”I’ve always been fascinated with you since we grew up.  Even back in the days when you started writing and put it on your MySpace.  I subscribed so I could read everything.”

“Calling me fascinating was good enough but the reading my blogs?  That’s a certified panty dropper right there.”

“I wasn’t trying to get you to drop your panties, but I won’t say no to a panty-less woman.”

The artist otherwise known as CA

*”Sorry you two broke up.  Time to rebound!  Bar trolling for drunken frat boys Saturday?”

“Nope.  No self sabotage.  Instead I’m eating healthier and I joined a gym.”

“Jigga what?”

“Seriously”

“Who the fuck are you and how did you get Tracey’s phone?”

Dude, I heart Tewwy.

*”So that’s what happened?  I knew I fucked up, but I didn’t remember how.  I was pretty fucked up all together back then.”

“Yup.  Had your chance and blew it.  I was your first friend when you moved here in Jr. High and your assigned ‘wife’ in the family study in Econ class and you never said shit.  Five years after we graduated you finally got the chance to date me and screwed up royally.  Now I’m old and gray.”

“I thought you were gorgeous then, and more likely than not still are.”

“Could you possible text that to me daily?  If so I might be swayed to forgive all past transgressions.”

“I could make that happen.  I’d be more than happy to do it.”

IM from ‘Wonder if he’ll still think I’m gorgeous when he see’s me on Monday after seven years?

June 26th, 2010 by IamDraven

For those who know me, I have two cats.  For those who know me well, I have two cats I rescued.  Cyan was going to the SPCA to be put down because she was now ‘too big’ for the pet store and no longer cute enough to sell.  At 19 that almost got me kicked out of my house.  Around 23 my (former) best friend bought two kittens.  One ended up being stepped on while snoozing on the stairs one morning and his leg was fractured into four pieces.  She mentioned to me in passing they were going to have him put ‘down’ because it was the cheapest.  I offered to call in a favor to a friend who was a vet tech and asked if I could ty and take care of him instead of him being put down.

The rest is history.  I learned to give shots, mash up pain medicine, and believe in miracles.  Because the cat their vet said would never walk again and needed an amputation or to just be put down now lives with me.  With all four legs and he seems to know that I saved his life.  Except for a small limp that makes him sashay when he walks, you’d never know what he’s been through.  My vet was always amazed when she saw him and asked how I did home care that intense with no veterinary experience.  I simply learned what other people had already known.  Some people have pets, other people have children that just happen to have four legs, fur and a tail.  The day I rescued Jasper from that house I became not a pet owner, but a pet parent.  It was no different from what any normal human being would do for their child.  So when I see something like this video, I get a little choked up and understand why they go above and beyond for an animal.

When the black tape comes out you’ll understand the blog title.

June 15th, 2010 by IamDraven

My Mom got this record (yes VINYL) when I was a baby and I’ve heard it every year on my birthday since.  When I was little the sound effects in the beginning would scare me,  and I would hide and cry.  Even if I’m not at home when it’s my birthday, my Mother makes sure she calls to play this for me.  Apparently Zoom has his own website (and you can like him or whatever the hell you do on Facebook) so if you have a little one, I’d recommend it.  I was always surprised to hear someone sing a song just for me!  And now, it’s not my birthday without it!

Space command to Zoom
All systems are go for your message to Tracey!

Hey, Tracey!
It’s your birthday!
I’m in charge of the stars
And I’m here to say,
’cause Tracey,
You’re the BIG STAR today!

My name is Zoom
And I live on the moon
But I came down to earth
Just to sing you this tune
Hey, Tracey
It’s your birthday today!

A present for you
I wanted to find
An outerspace creature
A one of a kind!
A wild whop or a kukelchoo,
An apple drop or a buzzardstew
Or maybe a 3-eyed tickleshay
For your birthday

Did you ask:
“uh, what’s a kukelchoo?”
Well, up on the moon it’s nothing new
But that won’t do for you,
On your birthday!

I searched behind the clouds and stars
I even zoomed my bike to Mars
And met my friend the saucer man
And he said:
“Hey Zoom I got the bestest plan!
What your friend needs is something new,
So how about a song, just from YOU?”

And so tonight when you’re in bed
I’ll be singing to you as I zoom overhead
Singing, Tracey! Happy Birthday
Singing, Tracey! Happy Birthday
Singing, Tracey! Happy Birthday

To you!

Happy Birthday, Tracey!
See you next year!

June 11th, 2010 by IamDraven

So today, or tomorrow I was going to be leaving for my birthday surprise with Erik.  I had mentioned that when I was a little girl I always wanted to go camping, but my Mother didn’t want to.  So I had to join girl scouts to go camping. (It rained all 9 years I was a girl scout on EVERY camping trip we went on.)  He remembered it and planned to take me camping for my birthday.  The day we broke up I asked what the surprise was going to be and he told me about the planned trip and an electric guitar.  Now here I am with 11 1/2 days of vacation staring me in the face and no plans.  (The camping trip was not for this whole time, rather just the first part.)

I can’t work because when I requested the time in April, it was filled by the time Erik and I broke up.  I agreed to stay later than my half day today since we’re short staffed.  I’m going to leave work to go play tennis with my Zach, then we’re going to cook a surprise dinner for his bf, (my darling Ben) and go bowling to surprise him.  All I really want to do is take a nap since I’ve been averaging 3 hours of sleep a night but I need to stay busy to keep my mind off Erik.

Saturday I’ve been invited to another boot camp class, I have a cookout and birthday party to attend, and Joan and I were looking at an afternoon Zumba class.  Oh shit, I forgot I’m supposed to squeeze in a shopping trip that day too.

Sunday I’m not booked for much, but my Dad leaves for his mission trip that day and he’ll be gone over my birthday, so I might go along to see him off.  (He’s doing charity work in VERY rural Kentucky with my church.)  Hopefully I can finally get in the pool and work on my 3 four different tan lines between my walking shirts and bathing suit.  Also, Sunday is the 25th anniversary of my Pap passing.  I’ll be spending part of Sunday with some roses sitting at his grave site talking to him.  I don’t care that he’s been gone since right before I turned 5, that man is still a part of my life and I believe my guardian angel sometimes.  Sunday night is my now ‘usual’ Sunday crew.  The bar we go to is closed for vacation so we’re planning to visit the one I used to DJ at.  For once I can let loose, party it up and have more than one beer.  And this time when cutie offers to buy me a shot I can say yes.

Monday I’m planning on some quality time with the pool and then than afternoon I have my first acupuncture appointment.  Slightly nervous, but more so excited.  Monday night I have my meeting and then Chasing Amy and I have tentative plans for pre birthday drinks (it is my birthday day at midnight although I’m not 30 until 11:04 am) and then a private after party.  While it sounds like a good idea, I’m waffling on it for several reasons.

Tuesday, well, that’s the day my world falls down.  At 11:04 am I’ll be thirty.  And commit myself to the psych ward.  I have no doubt in my mind I will be in tears at some point in my birthday.  My Mom will play the ‘Zoom” record for me (Blog will follow on this sometime during my vacation) and if I’m not home she’ll call me at the crack of dawn to play it for me over the phone.  If I’m home I might be able to score some blueberry pancakes (that and cheddar grits are a breakfast made in HEAVEN!).  Since Dad’s on his mission trip at this point it will be just her and I at my birthday lunch at Shangri-La.  The girls from work want to take me out too, so I’m having an early dinner with them around 3:30-4.  I think I’m going to a business meeting with Joan after that.  I haven’t decided, I’m still waffling on that too, but if I’m going to do it, I need to do it while it’s cheaper and if it fails I can say it was my midlife crisis, lol.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday I’m spending time out in the backyard at the pool and maybe at the track.  I need to do more cleaning/throwing out at the house and a perfect time to do it is now.

Saturday, it’s the mother of all parties.  Well, not really, but the most monumental in my last 29 years of life.  7pm is dinner at my favorite hibachi place and around 9 we’ll head to my favorite local bar for alcohol and karaoke.  If you haven’t already responded to the mypunchbowl.com invite you’ll be getting an automated email reminder some time next week. (If you didn’t get one at all, sorry, but I must not know you or like you.)

My Dad gets back in time for Father’s day so I’ll spend some time with him, and I have a special surprise for my parents on their 42nd wedding anniversary on Tuesday.  Sadly, I go back to work on Wednesday.  Hopefully I have a better vacation than I originally planned. And maybe I can even fit some poolside blogging in!

June 11th, 2010 by IamDraven

Starting at 2:30 this afternoon:

Yeeahhhhhhhhhhhh Bitches!

June 4th, 2010 by IamDraven

Today IamDraven.com is a year old or it’s my one year anniversary with my own .com.  I don’t like either phrase really.  I’m a little over a month out from my failed anniversary of my first date with Erik, and 11 days from my 30th (eep!) birthday.  So both words make me nauseous.

But today’s the day I took a leap of faith and decided to go legit so to speak.  No more Xanga, no more MySpace blogging, a real actual blog and a real webpage.  I plunked down my debit card and ordered a domain and web hosting.  A lot of people used to read my thoughts and it was always validating and sometimes a good source of advice.  But with people dropping MySpace for facebook, they couldn’t access my protected work anymore and a lot of companies blocked social networking sites.  I played around with a free WordPress for a bit before I made the jump to a WordPress hosted blog on my own site.  I like it, I can easily access it from anywhere, and I’d be in 7th heaven if I could get WordPress for BlackBerry to work on my actual Blackberry.  So to those who read, I see the little ticker clicking up and I get an email once a week with a count of how many people came to visit during the week.  Thanks for the affirmation, but once in a while a blog comment or two wouldn’t hurt.

Cue the popping of champagne corks we’ve got a party to start!