July 8th, 2010 by IamDraven

BOOM!

And this was where IamDraven’s head collapsed in.

Or, as Chasing Amy put it, “I just made your brain explode didn’t I?”

So, look, I’m a mess right now.  The few hours of sleep I did get were after a ‘hell’ day at the gym and a 2 1/2+ hour phone convo with said head imploder.

By bestie, otherwise known as Skittelz had a blog style all her own.  She just sits down at the keyboard, and types whatever comes to her.  So I apologize ahead of time.  I like to provide a good back story, and keep a time line in events but you’re lucky I remember how to spell my own name today.

I think I’ve decided to call the ‘new boy’ ‘Cane’.  If you know who he really is, it’s not a leap to the nickname.  In 8th grade I had the wonderful idea for the notebook.  We’d get in trouble for passing notes, so I bought a spiral notebook and by best friends and I would write notes back and forth to each other in class and pass it off in the hall between classes.  When 9th grade hit, we knew it was a good enough idea to continue, and the black notebook came into play with a new bestie we added to the group.  (The ‘new’ bestie became my best friend throughout all of high school, and 12 years later I’d still trust Abi with my life, I  just rarely get to see her anymore)

That was the start of nicknaming boys.  We did it for all of the boys we liked.  Chasing Amy was the original nicknamed one.  He was known as ‘Lawnmower Man’.  As the notebook faded, the nicknames stuck with Abi and I (who had about 5 code names a piece for each other) kept nicknaming the boys.  It’s a tradition I stuck with ever since.  Taylor Swift warns people that if she had a conversation with them longer than five minutes she might write a song about them.  If I’ve dated or hardcore crushed on you, I’ve probably written about you, but I won’t use your real name on an unprotected blog without your permission.  For example: Chris #1 was “He Who Shall Not Be Named”.  Chris #2 was ‘XXX’.   Mike became ‘Douchnozzle” after the fact (Thanks to Erik and that one really fit actually, lol) Erik was “Nerdling’ before we were officially a couple, etc.  I’m sure you get the point.

Speaking of three of those freaking boys, what in the hell is up with boys from high school?!?!  Chasing Amy, Cane and I were all in the same high school graduation class, and I dated Douchenozzle when I was a Junior in high school.  I’ve talked to all of those boys in the same day this week.  WTF?!

So things with Cane have been good.  Every day I get a variation of what I”m calling the compliment text.  Yesterday it was “Mornin beautiful.  Hope u slept well.” (And anyone who knows me knows how much I HATE abbreviated texting but his phone has a T9 keyboard that doesn’t always work so I let the shit slide on that.)

Yesterday I was in Spin class at the end of my TWO hour gym visit.  No, I didn’t take a nap while I was there.  Can you believe that shit?  My fat ass spent TWO hours working out!  But anyway.  I hobbled out of spin and when I got to my locker I saw my phone was flashing blue which means a missed call.  Cane had called but he never leaves voice mails.  I was in the process of leaving him a voice mail via speaker phone (because I was trying to mainline my Fruit Punch G2) I noticed I had a text from him telling me about power being out in our town.  (I already knew of the clusterfuck that was going on in our town and surrounding areas)  He called back as I was getting in my car and I asked if he wanted me to pick him up on my way home and go swimming at my house.  He said, “actually that’s why I was calling.  Our neighbor’s are letting us use their in ground pool while they’re on vacation and I wanted to know if you wanted to swim over here.”  Well, simply put, I have a pool in my backyard, but an in ground pool less than 5 miles away from my house trumps my 32 foot above ground any day.  He said that Baby Mama was still on her way to pick up Baby from his house and he wasn’t sure when she’s be there.  I told him I was just leaving the gym and I’d call when I got home and changed.  After I’d gotten home, ate a quick sandwich and put my suit on, I called and Baby Mama walked in the door.  (Do I have timing or what?)  He said he’d call back after she had Baby loaded up and was gone.  42 minutes later my phone rings.  “Bitch is still here.  She’s upstairs talking to my Mom and won’t leave.” (the day prior there was an argument about domestics and custody.  Guess who has the baby 18 hours a day?  It’s not Momma!  But I digress.)  He was apologizing and said that we’d have to forget about swimming and I said not to worry about it.  He could call me whenever the hell she left.  I wasn’t planning on us getting together, but thought he might need to vent.  I later wound up with an IM apologizing that he had a meeting for his online gaming community, but if I wanted to come over we could hang out.  So I got a shower and headed over.  I got a kiss hello and the most hysterical part was when he apologized saying, “I’m sorry I’m not feeling real passionate tonight.”  I told him it was ok.  I said I had used up all my passion giving him that asthma attack the night before.  (Yes, that is a true statement.  If you want to know the details, ask.  Bow chica wah ah…)  We played video games for a while (I learned I suck at CoD and probably FPS’s in general) and while I was letting him play a round I answered an email from Chasing Amy.  Well he didn’t know that when I reply from my phone it will say “Sent from my T-Mobile BlackBerry” or something like that.  So he called thinking I replied from my laptop at home.  I was at Cane’s.  I answered and I promised that I would meet him for drinks, and just drinks Thursday night.

*Side note Cane knows about Chasing Amy.  Chasing Amy knows about Cane.  Apparently Chasing Amy reads my twitter and blog (learned this later last night).  They just didn’t know who each other was in real life, which is hysterical because we were all in the same grade and school since Cane had moved here in 7th grade.  Cane knew I was supposed to meet Chasing Amy Tuesday night (I ended up not going and watching a movie with Cane instead.)  He said to me that evening, “Look, we haven’t had the talk about being exclusive yet so if that’s what you need to do, as long as you’re careful keep doing it as long as you need to.  (I honestly think I fell in love with him a little at that.) Meanwhile Chasing Amy was scanning our Senior yearbook trying to figure out who Cane was.  (Spoiler alert, Cane dropped out our Senior year and went to another school and finished before our regular school year was done at our Alma Matter.  So he wasn’t in the Senior yearbook)

Chasing Amy requested I call him on my way home.  I got my ass kicked at another level, and decided to call it a night while Cane was outside smoking.  I paused the game and walked outside to him.  After a few kisses goodnight I walked to my SUV.  As I was driving home I thought I really should call Chasing Amy so I could stay awake.  BIG MISTAKE.  CA is an awesome guy.  One of my best friends for years.  To this day except for one of our other friends from school I know more about him and his secrets than anyone else.  And he knows many of mine.  But that man can unintentionally mind fuck me like no one else.  How so?

That cock knocking chicken fucker (my favorite insult of all time that I rarely use because it’s that special to me) is JEALOUS of Cane.  JEALOUS! JEALOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS?!?!?!?!?!?!?  ‘cuse me?  Aren’t I your other woman?  Do you not happen to have a live in relationship?  At the same time I’ve obviously got issues because I was mildly flattered.  He’s not throwing his hat in the ring to try to woo me, and he realizes how fucked up this all is, but he feels that way regardless.  He was bummed when I got serious with Erik because he never got to hook up, but he said the fact that I was happy was more important than him being selfish and wanting me to himself.  He was there for me when Erik and I broke up, but he freely admits that he was doing a mental fist pump that I was single again.  When I declared myself single for life because ‘I’m 30 and too old for this shit’ he did the happy dance.  When I said, “sure, lets just have an affair.  I don’t expect it to ever be anything more than that.  You’ll just be here as long as I need you, and when it’s not a good arrangement for either of us anymore we’ll go back to being friends” I’m sure he almost wet his pants.  And everything was good.  And then Cane found me again.  And I still had feelings for him I’d almost forgotten about.  And if you’re being ‘green’ (hey, I’m eco-friendly, I recycle ex boyfriends!) then in my eyes it’s not like really jumping back in the dating pool.  Shit, Cane has drama in his life too.  I’ve seen some bad shit.  But I know his demons.  He’s been up front about them, and I’ve been (almost) completely honest about my baggage.  (He doesn’t need to know that I wonder if maybe he’s shagging baby mama still just because he told me before he found me he was still hitting it on the side just because he could.)  I don’t know where Cane and I are, I don’t know where we’re going, and I wonder about RiverFest.  Because he goes every year for three days and asked if I could take off work and go with him for those three days.  (Guess who put in a vacation request yesterday?  The same person who’s freaking out about going ‘away’ for three days with Cane.  Not really in a bad way, I’ve  just been battling a case of ‘girl’ brain lately.)  And after a night like last night where we weren’t all cute and cuddly, (Tuesday night we cuddled and watched a movie and he fell asleep holding me.  Weird yet nauseatingly cute.) when I’m not quite sure if he’s still ‘feeling’ me: at 8:43 this morning I get my cute ‘wake up’ message of the day.  (He’s off today so he slept in.  Normally I have it before I’m at work.

Speaking of the messages (I warned you fuckers I was going to be all over the place today) CA said that if were pursuing me, he’d be doing the same thing.  He said I’m the kind of person who deserves to have that and he feels that I am beautiful.  To prove the point?  His favorite photo of me on my MySpace?  Not the pin up shots from the posing I did but a photo of me taken by a friend’s cell phone.  I was sleeping off a night of partying in a living room chair at a friends.  I think my head is laying on my hands and I had just barely opened my eyes.  I remember Bee (not his real name either but I’m not the one who nicknamed him) snapping the photo and scaring me.  He had been watching me sleep.  Transfixed.  Said he needed to take the picture to remember it.  I sleep hard.  Sometimes I drool.  When I’m sick and congested I sometimes snore.  I won’t lie.  I get white girl fro by the time I get up in the morning.  I am a scary, scary sight in the morning.  It probably doesn’t help that I am NOT a morning person at all.  But for some reason I liked that picture.  Apparently so did CA.  He said he looks at that photo all the time (It’s at LEAST three years old), and may the Lord strike me dead if I’m lying but he actually said to me, “I thought wow, her eyes sparkle when she wakes up.”  I never would have thought the word sparkle was in his vocabulary.  He said he’s never got to see it because he’s never gotten to wake up beside me.  I don’t know if he ever will.

And it’s not just that photo.  Sometime I should blog the story of egg drop day (a special event in my Junior High Alma Matter’s history.  It’s like graduation for 8th graders) but needless to say, somehow the photos he wanted to take of the girl he liked (who I was best friends with at the time) turned into more photos of me.  And despite my denim on denim attire (look, I was 13.  My Mother largely bought my clothes.   I’d like to think that I’m now a successful fashionista with my own style) and the fact that to this day I hate having my photo taken he said I take a good photo.  (crazy that I’ve even done paid modeling and still internally cringe when I see a camera come out.)  The weirdest thing of that day is when something happened.  I don’t know what the hell it was, because I had known him for three years prior.  But that day I became ‘aware’ of him.  His big dorky glasses and a Buffalo Bills t shirt, I didn’t know I liked him yet, but it was like suddenly I knew whenever he was around after that.  I still remember that.  And he got those photos out again last night to look at again. (I’ve requested to borrow them to see and make copies)  He said how he’s never forgotten that in his Freshman yearbook I signed it as, “You’re cute since you got contacts.”  I was such the suave girl even back then, lol.

I laid it all out.  He knows I refer to him as Chasing Amy.  It used to be his favorite Kevin Smith movie but before Mr. Film Critic slaughtered it I told him to shut up.  I explained why it was my favorite movie, and it became my favorite movie after one pivotal scene but later at the end of the movie, it hit me that he was my Chasing Amy.  I told him that I carried that torch for him for years.  And I truly believe that he was my shot at love, and I messed up.  It doesn’t matter that I was 15 when I broke his heart.  All I know is that I may never love somebody like that ever again in my life.  And for those naysayers, he was NOT my first love, or even my first boyfriend so don’t give me that line of shit.  And I’m ok with that.  I don’t think I have it in me to love someone like that ever again.  I don’t think that now, the people we grew into, I don’t think we could love each other like that.  And I’m ok with that.  It doesn’t mean that I can’t love someone with all that I have. It just so happens that all I have is whatever I have left.

But the mind implosion was still to come.  I broke down and told him who Cane is.  Which surprised him having last seen him our Senior year and Cane looks completely different as I hope do I.  He said if he were in Cane’s shoes, he’d do the same thing.  Sending me cute text messages, emailing me, just generally reminding me that he found me attractive and worth putting in the effort to pursue me.  And in the next breath he said, “but I’m bad for you.  I’m like your ex, I think you deserve better than me.”

BOOM

“I just made your brain explode, didn’t I?”

Yes you fucking did.

I’m not even going to get into the part where he asked me out on a date.  That deserves it’s own fucking blog post.  Between two disconnects we spent close to three hours on the phone.  Much of it me crying.  About things in general.  How I’m scared that Cane is going to hurt me again, that even though I think it’s best, I’m also a little sad that I’m most likely going to be alone for the rest of my life.  It was a good conversation for us to have for the most part, as I finally told him everything instead of just alluding to it.

And we’re ok.  We just aired everything out.  And it was slightly hot that my ex was ’stalking’ me, lol.  Just the cute internet searching, web page/social network viewing, looking at old photos, following me on twitter stalking.  Not the I’m gonna follow you to work and camp out in your back yard at night stalking.

Apparently we’re going for drinks tonight too.  He warned me if I’m not at my bar at 8 pm (he’s going to be there at 7:45 but he’s granted me my fashionably late time table) that he will drive to my house and drag me out of there cave man style by my hair.

The best part was the email he first sent me about the drinks:

So how would you feel about getting together for a completely chaste* drink tomorrow evening?

*completely chaste excludes any and all leering I might do in the course of said drink consumption

Even if he makes my brain explode, at least he can still make me laugh.

July 7th, 2010 by IamDraven

I’ve been called beautiful before by men.  Men in my family, men who’ve styled/dressed/shot me for the modeling I’ve done.  Gay men, they call me beautiful too. (more so fabulous but I get beautiful too.)

Erik was the first man I’d dated, or who had even been straight, or not paid to style me for a show or shoot that called me beautiful.  But he never called me beautiful until after I had Bell’s Palsy.  Can you blame me for not believing him?

So, when when another man calls me beautiful, it’s a natural for me me to scoff at him.  (Side note Chasing Amy tells me I’m hot, and I laugh at him.  But he looks at me like it’s a hot day and I’m an ice cream cone so that does my ego good.  He also taught me not to laugh at a man who threatens to kiss you from head to toe.  He will be annoyed by your laughing and make good on his threat.  WOW!)

But this ‘new’ old guy.  Damn if  he isn’t trying to convince me.  We’ve known each other since we were 12.  He’s seen me with braces, coke bottle glasses, a poodle perm and tight rolled jeans.  We grew apart, grew up, and found each other again.  He called me gorgeous, I just thought he grew up HOT.  We dated briefly in our early 20’s (he’s exactly 3 months younger than me) , and he messed up.  BIG TIME. So I left.  At times I wondered about him, but never had any more contact with him.

He found me two weeks ago.  We’ve been talking, texting, iming like crazy and we’ve spent time together three times.  It may just be flattery, it may just be him trying to make up for screwing up all those years ago.  But when I wake every morning to a text telling me I’m beautiful, etc, well that just makes me feel good.  And I don’t know if it will go anywhere, and if it does, I don’t know how long it will last.

So I’m just living in the moment.

And I can honestly say I’m HAPPY.

Today’s blog title taking from lyrics from “It’s All Your Fault” by Pink

July 2nd, 2010 by IamDraven

So I know that hooking up once is a one night stand.

Twice, well maybe that’s happenstance.

When he wants to drive 45 minutes just to see me and take me out for a drink:

When he calls and asks to see me twice next week…

Can we call it a full fledged affair now?

Today blog title taking from lyrics from “Headfirst Slide Into Cooperstown On A Bad Bet” by Fall Out Boy

June 23rd, 2010 by IamDraven

I used to love you.

I used to be your girlfriend.

I used to be the only girl who had broken your heart, now I’m just the first that did.

I used to think you were the one that got away.  My ‘Chasing Amy’

I used to live in that city.  Farthest away from my family that I’d ever lived.

I used to wonder what it would be like to kiss you again, after teaching you how to kiss so many years ago.

I used to wonder if as adults, we’d have any chemistry.

I used to wonder if that nervous tension I felt around you was only on my side.

I used to wonder if the passion we thought we felt was real.

I used to wonder what would happen if we ever got alone behind closed doors.

Now, knowing the answers to what I used to wonder, someday I’ll look back and say, “I used to wonder how long this would last.”

June 14th, 2010 by IamDraven

And I had every opportunity to.  Chasing Amy took me out for drinks for my birthday.  And the option for a two person after party was already on the table before tonight even came.  And it got close.  Oh so close.  I have no alcohol tolerance anymore.  And Tequila was a close personal friend of mine back in the day when I actually used to have a few drinks on the weekends.  And Lisa (the bartender) made sure Mr. Jose Cuervo came to pay me his birthday respects.  (Did I mention C.A. picked the bar I used to work at for our night out?)  Did you ever hear the song Tequila makes her clothes fall off?  I was wearing a new dress or that might have happened.

He’s older than me by 7 months and since I was with Erik on his birthday, I didn’t go out with him for his birthday as promised.  So I made sure I bought him his birthday round to make up for lost time.  He bought me a round.  We bought ourselves another round…

He kissed me.  And forgive the cliche, but it was magical.  I was his first kiss (but he was not mine), and 15 years later we still have amazing chemistry.  It would have been so easy to go to a room with him and spend all night there.  But as he was kissing me, in the back of my mind I kept thinking, “this isn’t right.”  And I was thinking of Erik.  It felt so strange kissing someone else after having been with only Erik.  And if I was thinking that while C.A. was kissing me, how could I sleep with him?

And ladies and gentlemen, that is why I’m home, blogging, before it’s even last call.

Happy Birthday To Me…

May 24th, 2010 by IamDraven

“You picked him over me and now he left you.  If you had picked me this wouldn’t have happened.”

Ouch.  Yeah I got that from one of the former contenders.  Or how about this gem?

“We’ve got the chemistry, and if it weren’t for our history, we’d probably be dating right now.”

Ok, so maybe I tore his heart out and stomped on it.  Numerous times.  The last time being in front of most of our friends when we were in high school.

Needless to say, I’m not looking for another boyfriend.  I’ve got my ‘backup plan” and if I need companionship, he’s there and he’s also my date for my birthday. (Not my birthday party).  So it’s nice to know on my birthday I can get dressed up and go out and have a good time.

Last night my phone blew up and I wound up going out for dinner and also meeting some friends out at a local bar after that.  We ended up going to a second bar and a friend of a friend met up with us.  I actually thought ‘wow, he’s cute” which shocked me because I haven’t even looked at another guy since Erik dumped me.  I thought he was there with one of the girls, but it turns out he’s single.  And cute.  Did I mention he’s cute?

We talked a lot and had a surprising amount of things in common. When the creepy DJ stopped spinning I said I wished I had cash because when in a redneck bar my favorite thing to do is play annoying rap/hip hop.  He went over to the jukebox and started picking music for me.  When I mentioned how much I liked this song (From the blog title by Jason Derulo) he put more money in the jukebox and played it for me while I danced in the booth with Skittelz.  Later on at my mention of loving Sugar Ray he played Answer the Phone and was winning points in my book.  He bought me my last beer of the night and then a group of us ended up hanging out for two hours after the bar closed.

It was nice.  He was funny, smart and cute.  We flirted and were cuddly, touchy-feelyish talking with our arms around each other and him blowing me kisses.  I told him I didn’t appreciate the smell of his after bar food and him blowing me kisses was as far as he was getting.  He was very sweet and even walked me around the hill when I feared walking down it in flip flops and a maxi dress.  Before I left to take Skittelz back to her car he dialed his phone from mine and saved my number in his phone.  He told me now I had his number, and gave me a big hug and kissed me under my right earlobe, right where my jaw starts.  It was very cute and I’m flattered.  It’s good for my ego to have someone cute flirt with me.  I don’t think I’m going to call him though.  But I am slightly excited to see him again this Sunday.  Even if I don’t have my mojo back, he’s a good to salve my ego.

July 13th, 2009 by IamDraven

In an effort to blog more often, I may occasionally bring you news stories that catch my attention.  After working years in emergency medicine, I refuse to watch the news, because I know local drama before the news centers do.  So it’s got to be strange, one way or another to get me to read into it.  So, I bring you, the first installment of News By Tracey:

This gal gives me hope that maybe I’ll find Mr. Right by my Medicare years:

Statia Kealy of Ireland has never married, smoked, drank or even put on makeup. So maybe that’s why she’s finally ready to cut loose and hit the dating scene at the tender age of 106.

Statia, who could easily pass for 88 or 89, says she’s looking for love. If you know any lonely centenarians who live near Ireland, maybe you should pass along her number. She’s got a sense of humor, telling one reporter, “Those that get married do well, but those that don’t do better.” Fiery!

If she can’t find a man and is willing to learn Chinese, maybe she could be pen-pals with Wang Guiying, a 107-year old Chinese lady who finds herself in the same “predicament.” Although 106 years of eating Poptarts alone in bed doesn’t necessarily sound so bad.

April 7th, 2009 by IamDraven

It’s probably obvious from the title, but if you’re a bit slow, I got laid this weekend.  Normally a blog about this would go on my ’single girl: hilarity insues’ blog but there’s a back story.

There’s been a surge of males into life from middle and high school lately.  Started back in July when I got back together with one of my boyfriends from high school.  Now that I’ve left him, I’ve dipped my toe back in the dating pool.  I’ve been spending a lot of time with someone I almost dated my senior year, but he moved way too slow and someone else got to me first.  I’ve also been talking to someone I rode the bus with when I was in 8th grade, and he in 6th, until I graduated. 

Saturday, as usual I spent the evening with Snail as I’ll call him (since he STILL moves slow)  Three months into hanging out and we’re just hitting the fledgling flirting.  We were goofing off and even played a game of  ’show me yours and I’ll show you mine” but he has yet to make an actual move on me.  I had arrived late going to his house after a friend’s dinner party, so I didn’t get home until around 5:30 am. 

I was seriously feeling that I had once again lost my mojo.  This has happened in the past and was serious enough I saw a doctor about it.  I hadn’t slept with anyone since mid December.  My sex life with my ex was so bad I didn’t even want to bother for three minutes of boredom.  I know, it sounds hateful, but I’ve never been one to mince words.

I spent most of Sunday lazing around watching TV and napping intermittently.  I was texting with ‘Bus Boy” for a few hours and he asked if he could call me.  My thought is, if you already have my number, knock yourself out.  You don’t need to ask permission.  We talked for about an hour and he invited me over to watch a movie.  I kept dodging the question and making excuses.  Finally I relented and told him I’d get a shower and head over. 

We watched a movie and I kept feeling him stare at me.  I finally freaked out and went off on him a little.  I got this story from him that he had always had a crush on me and seeing me again he still felt the crush.  I thought the hug he had given me at first was a little more than friendly, but didn’t give it much thought.  He told me he’d like to kiss me and then got quiet.  I mulled it over for a bit .  I figured there wasn’t really any harm.  I was attracted to him, and he obviously was into me.  So I leaned towards him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  It was sweet and I almost felt a ’spingle’ (Faithful readers will recognize that term)

During the movie he kept trying to hold my hand, at one point even laying me down against him when I kept fidgeting on the sofa.  I am not, nor have I ever been a cuddler.  I’ve gotten to points where I can be somewhat comfortable and ‘play along’ by not crawling out of my skin but I never initiate.  I eventually gave in to making out with him.  In between the movie and making out he told me how he had a crush on me as long as he’d known me.  I figured it was just a line to try to get my pants off.  (He did tell me he’d like to have sex with me but I told him I wasn’t interested this evening.)  At one point I asked him do you really still have a crush on me or are you trying to get me to have sex with you.  He was quiet for a few seconds then asked “can’t I have a crush on you and also want to sleep with you?”

Hmmmmmmmm…  Yes, I suppose that is possible, but I don’t trust anyone as far as I can throw them.  The devil and angel on my shoulders were having a throw down.  Yes, he’s hot; but he has a crush on you, don’t sleep with him, etc.  Finally I decided that it had been since December since I’d had sex, and hadn’t had even remotely decent sex since July.  When I had gone out for beer with my ex last week his eyes almost popped out of his head when he found out how long I’d been celibate.  That pretty much made my mind up for me.

“Ok.”

“Ok what?”

“Ok, I’ll have sex with you, but you’re gonna need a condom first.”

“That’s not funny.  It’s mean.  You don’t joke around with a guy like that.”

I think my silence and dead stare finally got the point across.  He started stuttering and pacing.  I mentioned that I’d be more comfortable not being naked in his living room.  His younger brother lived with him and was up working on a term paper and had been meandering through the house. 

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs at breakneck speed.  A short time later my clothes were being thrown across the room by him.  He kept staring at my body and making me uncomfortable so I kept reaching for the sheets.  I don’t think he appreciated when I laughed so hard I snorted when he referred to me as ’sexy.’ 

I won’t go into details, but there are reasons I adore younger guys.  Probably one has something to do with their hips being run on energizer power and a less than 5 minute downtime between rounds.  I swear, a few times I thought he was going to bounce me off the bed.  Afterwards I started trying to collect my clothes as he kept pulling me down on the bed.  I protested and it got me nowhere.  I told him I needed to get dressed and go home.  He then asked me why I was going home.  Obviously, I was tired, and need to sleep after that marathon.  Oh, none of that allowed apparently!  His brilliant idea was that I spend the night.  In his bed.  With him.  Sleeping.  I’m queen of: stick around until you fall asleep then I’ll sneak out and be gone before the sun even rises.  I kept trying to leave but something in me said knock it the hell off ad spend the night.  So I gave in.

It took me a while to fall asleep, especially with him alternating between having me lay my head on his chest, or him curling up to me.  Several times I woke and had the urge to bolt, but I’m a girl of my word.  And for that, I was awarded with another frenzied romp across the bed.  Thankfully we ran out of condoms or I would have been in the emergency room getting fluid re-hydration and being stitched back together. 

The last round just finished, he was still inside me, grinning down at me as we struggled to catch our breath.  From beneath a pillow at the top of the bed my blackberry began to ring.  I stretched towards it trying to reach since he wouldn’t let go of me.  I grimaced as I heard the ringtone.    He reached over me to the head of the bed (somehow we were sideways on the bed, half hanging off.)  He slid my phone down to me as I hit the answer button:

“Yeah Mom?  What’s up?”  He started laughing and began rocking his hips against me.  I was making obscene gestures at him while trying to carry on a converstaion with my mother which was interesting.  He finally left me alone when I pinched him and he got up and got dressed.  Mom calling is a definate mood killer. 

I got dressed and made excuses to leave since it was almost noon.  He walked me out and as he lit up a cigarette I saw my opportunity to give him a quick kiss goodbye on the cheek.  That little fucker saw me coming, switched the cigarette from his mouth to his hand and planted one on my lips.  Damnit.  I bolted after that and went off to get my taxes done.

We had been playing with our cell phone the night before and he found a song on my phone he wanted as the ringtone when he called me.  Didn’t think too much of it after that.  On my way into the city the ringtone he pick for my phone started playing on the radio.  Ok, it’s an incredibly popular song right now, that’s all.  So what if it was on MTV three different times while we were having sex.  It’s just REALLY popular right now.  That was until I heard it TWICE while getting my taxes done, it was on three of my radio presets on the way home and even on Dancing With The Stars last night.  Now I feel guilty that Bus Boy may actually have a crush on me and I’m being haunted by his ringtone.  If he had only just said he just wanted to have sex with me and laid off all the ‘crush’ crap I wouldn’t be feeling guilty now.

“P-p-p-poker face, my-my-my p-p-poker face…”  sounds more like g-g-g-guilt trip, g-g-g-guilt trip!

Heels Over Head – Boys Like Girls

I got your runaway smile in my piggy bank baby
Gonna cash it right in for a new Mercedes
You were worth the hundred thousand miles
But you couldn’t stay awhile

I got your little brown shirt in my bottom drawer baby
And your little white socks in the top drawer
You were always leaving your shit around
And gone without a sound

Yeah I’m the first to fall,
And the last to know
Where’d you go?

Now I’m heels over head,
I’m hangin’ upside-down
Thinkin’ how you left me for dead
California bound

I got a first class ticket to a night all alone
And a front row seat up right by the phone
‘Cause you’re always on my mind
And I’m running out of time

I’ve got your hair on my pillow
And your smell in my sheets
And it makes me think about you
With the sand in your feet
Is it all you thought it’d be?
You mean everything to me

But I’m the first to fall,
And the last to know
Where’d you go?

Now i’m heels over head,
I’m hangin’ upside-down
Thinkin’ how you left me for dead
California bound

And when you hit the coast
I hope you think of me
And how I’m stuck here with the ghost
Of what we used to be

You’re burnin’ bridges baby (burnin’ bridges)
Make your wishes
Yeah you’re burnin’ bridges baby (burnin’ bridges)
Make your wishes
You’re burnin’ bridges baby (burnin’ bridges)
Make your wishes
Yeah you’re burnin’ bridges baby (burnin’ bridges)
Make your wishes

You’re a chance taker, heartbreaker,
Got me wrapped around your finger
Chance taker, heartbreaker,
Got me wrapped around your finger

I got your runaway smile in my piggybank baby
Gonna cash it right in for a new Mercedes
If I drive a hundred thousand miles
Would you let me stay a while?

Now i’m heels over head,
I’m hangin’ upside-down
Thinkin’ how you left me for dead
California bound

And when you hit the coast
I hope you think of me
And how I’m stuck here with the ghost
Of what we used to be

Now i’m heels over head,
I’m hangin’ upside-down
Thinkin’ how you left me for dead
California bound

And when you hit the coast
Maybe you’ll finally see
And then you’ll turn it all around
And you’ll come back to me