April 21st, 2009 by IamDraven

I TOLD you it was in my friggin pheremones…  I’ll mainly let this article talk with just a small amount of afterword by me…

(http://ydr.inyork.com/ci_12148716?source=most_viewed)

Dover Twp. man accused of being Internet predator
Attorney General says Donald D. Miller, 41, propositioned someone he thought was a 13-year-old girl.

Donald D. Miller (Submitted)A 41-year-old Dover Township man was arrested recently in connection with using the Internet to sexually proposition what he believed was a young girl, the state attorney general’s office said Wednesday.

Donald D. Miller, 41,  of 3441 Davidsburg Road, Dover, York County is charged with four counts of having unlawful contact with a minor for the purpose of committing various sexual offenses and faces a prison sentence of up to 47 years in prison and fines of up to $90,000.

Miller, who identified himself online as a former corrections officer, allegedly told an undercover agent of the Attorney General’s Child Predator Unit posing as a 13-year-old girl that he was “looking for a young girl to have fun with.”

According to the attorney general’s office, he arranged to meet the “girl” at an unidentified location in the Harrisburg area on Good Friday, assuming she had off from school for the holiday. He cautioned the girl to keep the plans secret because “I could go to jail if we get caught” and “I would be thought of as a child molester,” the attorney general’s office said.

When Miller was arrested, he was carrying a condom that he had purchased at a convenience store, according to the attorney general’s office. Police also found a 9mm handgun in his car.

Miller was arraigned in Harrisburg and placed in Dauphin County Prison in lieu of $500,000 bail. A preliminary hearing is scheduled for April 20.

(http://www.attorneygeneral.gov/press.aspx?id=4423)

Donald D. Miller Arrest

Corbett said that Miller allegedly identified himself as a former corrections officer and often used the screen name “ofc_miller.”  During his first online chat with an undercover agent who was using the online profile of a 13-year old girl, he allegedly told her, “I’m looking for a young girl to have fun with.”

According to the criminal complaint, Miller quickly proposed meeting the girl for sex – asking how she planned to get out of her house, commenting, “Not a lot of parents let their young daughters go out alone these days.” He also cautioned her to keep the meeting plans secret, adding, “I could go to jail if we would get caught,” and, “I would be thought of as a child molester.”

Corbett said that Miller allegedly arranged to meet the girl on Friday, April 10th, believing that she had no school that day.  He also allegedly sent the girl a photo of himself, wearing his uniform, along with a photo of an exposed penis.

Miller was arrested by agents from the Child Predator Unit, assisted by Swatara Township Police, when he arrived at a predetermined meeting location in the Harrisburg area. 

At the time of his arrest, Corbett said that Miller was carrying a condom that he had allegedly purchased at a convenience store a short time before the meeting.  Agents also located a 9 mm handgun in the door storage compartment of his car.

Agents from the Attorney General’s office, assisted by Northern York County Regional Police, executed a search warrant at Miller’s home, seizing a computer and data storage devices.  Those items will be analyzed by the Attorney General’s Computer Forensics Unit as part of an ongoing investigation.

Miller is charged with one count of unlawful contact with a minor (related to involuntary deviate sexual intercourse), a first-degree felony which is punishable by up to 20 years in prison and a $25,000 fine. 

Additionally, Miller is charged with one count of unlawful contact with a minor (related to statutory sexual assault) and one count of unlawful contact with a minor (related to aggravated indecent assault), both second-degree felonies which are each punishable by up to 10 years in prison and $25,000 fines.

Miller is also charged with one count of unlawful contact with a minor (obscene or sexual performances) and one count of criminal use of a computer, both third-degree felonies which are each punishable by up to seven years in prison and $15,000 fines.

Miller was preliminarily arraigned on Friday, April 10th, before Harrisburg Magisterial District Judge Robert Jennings III and lodged in the Dauphin County Jail in lieu of $500,000 bail.  A preliminary hearing is scheduled for April 20th, before Harrisburg Magisterial District Judge Michael J. Smith.

Don Miller is my former boyfriend.  Massive creep out.  I mean, I knew I attracted freaks of all kinds but this is a new low for me.  I would like to first state in my defense, that I dated him about 7 years ago, and he wasn’t so fat, so gray, or so creepy back then and still worked as a prison guard (he got fired after I dumped him.)  He has a daughter, ******* who has got to be a teenager by now, and a son **** who is 4 now.  So why in the hell was he trying to have sex with someone he thought was 13?  I’m disgusted, I’m appalled, I want to spray paint his house in red obscenities, I want to take a hot bath with Clorox and use a Brillo pad as a loofah.  I’ve never known a true felon, let alone dated someone who would one day turn into one.  My niece is 14 months old, and my adopted ‘niece’ is 11 years old.  If ANYONE came near them or tried to be inappropriate, I’d rip them to shreds with my bare hands.  I can’t even comprehend how someone with children under 18 could be trying to solicit sex from a child.  I’m torn between vomiting and crying.  How do I wrap my head around the fact that my former boyfriend was busted in a sex sting for trying to hook up with a 13 year old child?

April 16th, 2009 by IamDraven

Just when I needed to get out of my funk!  Yesterday a coworker offered to pick up my hours on Friday.  A surprise day off is always a good thing.  What makes it even better is that it’s my weekend off.  Topping off the awesomeness meter is the fact that my weekends off are three day weekends.  Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have a four day weekend.  Starting at 3 pm today I don’t have to be back at work until 7:30 am Tuesday!  At 4 outpatients close and two of my coworkers and I are going to my favorite bar for beer.  I don’t need to watch my niece tonight so I can stay as long as I want. 

Tomorrow I’m going to visit one of my best guy friends so I’m pretty psyched for that.  Jacque and I refer to him as the lovable douche and he was one of the friendships I had cut off because he has a tendency to be self centered.  He was the only one who redeemed himself so I’m looking forward to hanging out with him again.  Then in the evening I’m taking my adopted niece (she claimed I’m her cool aunt so I’ve got a second niece now) to see Hannah Montanna, the movie.  (My coolness factor now goes WAY up)

Saturday I’m thinking I’m going to sleep in and maybe treat myself to a pedicure.  My income tax return came in Monday, I ordered my Jack LaLanne juicer, paid my car insurance six months in advance and made next months car payment.  I think a little money wasting splurge on myself sounds like a good idea.  I’m going to go to the nail salon where they use the razor blade callus shavers which are illegal.  That’s right ladies and gents, I’m feelin’ a little dangerous.  Saturday night I’m going out to celebrate a friend birthday.  Three unsupervised women in a redneck bar.  I sense trouble already.  WOOHOO!

Sunday I’m going shopping with some friends from work.  Some more splurge money will be dropped at Victoria’s Secret and perhaps on some new clothes too.  That evening my friends are having a bris for their newborn son and preteen niece is in a play that night.  I don’t see how I’m going to fit in both, but I’m going to give it a shot. 

Monday is my quality time with Gram.  I’ve had doctors appointments that last two Monday’s so my Mom has filled in for me.  It’s let me get stuff done, but I miss seeing my Gram.  She’ll be 91 on the 28th.  I have to be a realist and say she could always not make it, but every day after December 5th has literally been a gift from God. 

Bus Boy said he wants to call me this weekend to hang out (i.e. fuck me across the bed again, no doubt) and Snail and I usually hang out on my weekends off so I don’t know how I’m going to fit them in.  I had my blood work drawn yesterday during work and my biopsies and culture slides went out Monday morning for pathology so now I’m just playing the waiting game for results.  I’m glad I have such a busy weekend planned to help keep my mind off the waiting game.

Tick, Tock, Tick, Tock…

April 14th, 2009 by IamDraven

Today I’m being slightly hateful. It happens.  Especially when idiocy has taken up residence on certain floors and nursing stations.  I really need more than one day off after I do my six day stretch.  I’ve been in kind of a funk since yesterday.  Not quite ready to talk about why.  Some people know but something serious has happened (with my health) and I’m on the verge of a freak out but trying to keep myself positive.  That’s a stretch for me in its-self, but I’ve been trying to turn over a new leaf this year and so far I’ve been doing well.

I’ve been taking care of myself (and my health) for a change and not putting everyone before me.  I kicked Mike’s ass to the curb (yay!); broke off some friendships that were more poisonous then supportive;  joined a gym (damn doctor won’t let me go yet though); putting my family and worthwhile friendships as a higher priority and trying to mend fences in some past friendships.  I’ve been working my ass off and thought it was finally starting to pay off…

Normally, something like this would knock me on my ass and have me huddled in the corner.  I’m trying to proactively kick back before I get mine kicked.  Like I said, it could be a false alarm, but with my history my doctors aren’t taking any chances.  I have to get blood work done asap but I don’t trust everyone I work with and don’t really want speculations on why I’m getting the tests done.  I’m just stuck spinning my wheels until all the test results come back and trying to stay sane…

April 7th, 2009 by IamDraven

It’s probably obvious from the title, but if you’re a bit slow, I got laid this weekend.  Normally a blog about this would go on my ’single girl: hilarity insues’ blog but there’s a back story.

There’s been a surge of males into life from middle and high school lately.  Started back in July when I got back together with one of my boyfriends from high school.  Now that I’ve left him, I’ve dipped my toe back in the dating pool.  I’ve been spending a lot of time with someone I almost dated my senior year, but he moved way too slow and someone else got to me first.  I’ve also been talking to someone I rode the bus with when I was in 8th grade, and he in 6th, until I graduated. 

Saturday, as usual I spent the evening with Snail as I’ll call him (since he STILL moves slow)  Three months into hanging out and we’re just hitting the fledgling flirting.  We were goofing off and even played a game of  ’show me yours and I’ll show you mine” but he has yet to make an actual move on me.  I had arrived late going to his house after a friend’s dinner party, so I didn’t get home until around 5:30 am. 

I was seriously feeling that I had once again lost my mojo.  This has happened in the past and was serious enough I saw a doctor about it.  I hadn’t slept with anyone since mid December.  My sex life with my ex was so bad I didn’t even want to bother for three minutes of boredom.  I know, it sounds hateful, but I’ve never been one to mince words.

I spent most of Sunday lazing around watching TV and napping intermittently.  I was texting with ‘Bus Boy” for a few hours and he asked if he could call me.  My thought is, if you already have my number, knock yourself out.  You don’t need to ask permission.  We talked for about an hour and he invited me over to watch a movie.  I kept dodging the question and making excuses.  Finally I relented and told him I’d get a shower and head over. 

We watched a movie and I kept feeling him stare at me.  I finally freaked out and went off on him a little.  I got this story from him that he had always had a crush on me and seeing me again he still felt the crush.  I thought the hug he had given me at first was a little more than friendly, but didn’t give it much thought.  He told me he’d like to kiss me and then got quiet.  I mulled it over for a bit .  I figured there wasn’t really any harm.  I was attracted to him, and he obviously was into me.  So I leaned towards him and gave him a quick kiss on the lips.  It was sweet and I almost felt a ’spingle’ (Faithful readers will recognize that term)

During the movie he kept trying to hold my hand, at one point even laying me down against him when I kept fidgeting on the sofa.  I am not, nor have I ever been a cuddler.  I’ve gotten to points where I can be somewhat comfortable and ‘play along’ by not crawling out of my skin but I never initiate.  I eventually gave in to making out with him.  In between the movie and making out he told me how he had a crush on me as long as he’d known me.  I figured it was just a line to try to get my pants off.  (He did tell me he’d like to have sex with me but I told him I wasn’t interested this evening.)  At one point I asked him do you really still have a crush on me or are you trying to get me to have sex with you.  He was quiet for a few seconds then asked “can’t I have a crush on you and also want to sleep with you?”

Hmmmmmmmm…  Yes, I suppose that is possible, but I don’t trust anyone as far as I can throw them.  The devil and angel on my shoulders were having a throw down.  Yes, he’s hot; but he has a crush on you, don’t sleep with him, etc.  Finally I decided that it had been since December since I’d had sex, and hadn’t had even remotely decent sex since July.  When I had gone out for beer with my ex last week his eyes almost popped out of his head when he found out how long I’d been celibate.  That pretty much made my mind up for me.

“Ok.”

“Ok what?”

“Ok, I’ll have sex with you, but you’re gonna need a condom first.”

“That’s not funny.  It’s mean.  You don’t joke around with a guy like that.”

I think my silence and dead stare finally got the point across.  He started stuttering and pacing.  I mentioned that I’d be more comfortable not being naked in his living room.  His younger brother lived with him and was up working on a term paper and had been meandering through the house. 

He grabbed my hand and pulled me up the stairs at breakneck speed.  A short time later my clothes were being thrown across the room by him.  He kept staring at my body and making me uncomfortable so I kept reaching for the sheets.  I don’t think he appreciated when I laughed so hard I snorted when he referred to me as ’sexy.’ 

I won’t go into details, but there are reasons I adore younger guys.  Probably one has something to do with their hips being run on energizer power and a less than 5 minute downtime between rounds.  I swear, a few times I thought he was going to bounce me off the bed.  Afterwards I started trying to collect my clothes as he kept pulling me down on the bed.  I protested and it got me nowhere.  I told him I needed to get dressed and go home.  He then asked me why I was going home.  Obviously, I was tired, and need to sleep after that marathon.  Oh, none of that allowed apparently!  His brilliant idea was that I spend the night.  In his bed.  With him.  Sleeping.  I’m queen of: stick around until you fall asleep then I’ll sneak out and be gone before the sun even rises.  I kept trying to leave but something in me said knock it the hell off ad spend the night.  So I gave in.

It took me a while to fall asleep, especially with him alternating between having me lay my head on his chest, or him curling up to me.  Several times I woke and had the urge to bolt, but I’m a girl of my word.  And for that, I was awarded with another frenzied romp across the bed.  Thankfully we ran out of condoms or I would have been in the emergency room getting fluid re-hydration and being stitched back together. 

The last round just finished, he was still inside me, grinning down at me as we struggled to catch our breath.  From beneath a pillow at the top of the bed my blackberry began to ring.  I stretched towards it trying to reach since he wouldn’t let go of me.  I grimaced as I heard the ringtone.    He reached over me to the head of the bed (somehow we were sideways on the bed, half hanging off.)  He slid my phone down to me as I hit the answer button:

“Yeah Mom?  What’s up?”  He started laughing and began rocking his hips against me.  I was making obscene gestures at him while trying to carry on a converstaion with my mother which was interesting.  He finally left me alone when I pinched him and he got up and got dressed.  Mom calling is a definate mood killer. 

I got dressed and made excuses to leave since it was almost noon.  He walked me out and as he lit up a cigarette I saw my opportunity to give him a quick kiss goodbye on the cheek.  That little fucker saw me coming, switched the cigarette from his mouth to his hand and planted one on my lips.  Damnit.  I bolted after that and went off to get my taxes done.

We had been playing with our cell phone the night before and he found a song on my phone he wanted as the ringtone when he called me.  Didn’t think too much of it after that.  On my way into the city the ringtone he pick for my phone started playing on the radio.  Ok, it’s an incredibly popular song right now, that’s all.  So what if it was on MTV three different times while we were having sex.  It’s just REALLY popular right now.  That was until I heard it TWICE while getting my taxes done, it was on three of my radio presets on the way home and even on Dancing With The Stars last night.  Now I feel guilty that Bus Boy may actually have a crush on me and I’m being haunted by his ringtone.  If he had only just said he just wanted to have sex with me and laid off all the ‘crush’ crap I wouldn’t be feeling guilty now.

“P-p-p-poker face, my-my-my p-p-poker face…”  sounds more like g-g-g-guilt trip, g-g-g-guilt trip!

Heels Over Head – Boys Like Girls

I got your runaway smile in my piggy bank baby
Gonna cash it right in for a new Mercedes
You were worth the hundred thousand miles
But you couldn’t stay awhile

I got your little brown shirt in my bottom drawer baby
And your little white socks in the top drawer
You were always leaving your shit around
And gone without a sound

Yeah I’m the first to fall,
And the last to know
Where’d you go?

Now I’m heels over head,
I’m hangin’ upside-down
Thinkin’ how you left me for dead
California bound

I got a first class ticket to a night all alone
And a front row seat up right by the phone
‘Cause you’re always on my mind
And I’m running out of time

I’ve got your hair on my pillow
And your smell in my sheets
And it makes me think about you
With the sand in your feet
Is it all you thought it’d be?
You mean everything to me

But I’m the first to fall,
And the last to know
Where’d you go?

Now i’m heels over head,
I’m hangin’ upside-down
Thinkin’ how you left me for dead
California bound

And when you hit the coast
I hope you think of me
And how I’m stuck here with the ghost
Of what we used to be

You’re burnin’ bridges baby (burnin’ bridges)
Make your wishes
Yeah you’re burnin’ bridges baby (burnin’ bridges)
Make your wishes
You’re burnin’ bridges baby (burnin’ bridges)
Make your wishes
Yeah you’re burnin’ bridges baby (burnin’ bridges)
Make your wishes

You’re a chance taker, heartbreaker,
Got me wrapped around your finger
Chance taker, heartbreaker,
Got me wrapped around your finger

I got your runaway smile in my piggybank baby
Gonna cash it right in for a new Mercedes
If I drive a hundred thousand miles
Would you let me stay a while?

Now i’m heels over head,
I’m hangin’ upside-down
Thinkin’ how you left me for dead
California bound

And when you hit the coast
I hope you think of me
And how I’m stuck here with the ghost
Of what we used to be

Now i’m heels over head,
I’m hangin’ upside-down
Thinkin’ how you left me for dead
California bound

And when you hit the coast
Maybe you’ll finally see
And then you’ll turn it all around
And you’ll come back to me

April 3rd, 2009 by IamDraven

::does the patented ‘Baywatch Wet Hair Shake’::

I love when I first get my hair cut.  It’s like a mojo booster.  I don’t even get it styled.  I just roll out with a soaking wet head but I feel exhilarated.  Thankfully my hair grows fast or I would look like a boy. I last got it cut in the end of February and was long overdue.

I almost feel naked though the first few days after.  Especially when I’m washing it for the first time and have a hand full of conditioner that has run out of hair to be put on.  Nothing drastic, done last night.  New layers, two inches off and a recut of my Bettie Page bangs. I do however wish it gave me more of a mojo boost, but it feels good.  And it allows me to pull off a short blog.  SCORE!

April 2nd, 2009 by IamDraven

Can you tell me?

Who was your best friend in high school?

Who was your high school sweetheart?

What if at one point in time these two people were one in the same?  What if you fucked that up and never forgave yourself?

Welcome to my 10th grade world.  Something that’s haunted me to the ripe old age of 28.  Something that will haunt me no more

I’ve been in a LOT of relationships.  At one point in time I wouldn’t break up with boyfriend until I had another one waiting in the wings.  It’s not something I’m proud of but something I did.  I felt like I was a nobody unless I had a boyfriend.  I’d like to thank ex-fiancee #2 for that total mind fuck.  I have a habit of attracting assholes.  Guess it’s in my pheromones.  I had one boyfriend who wasn’t a douche and actually treated me better then anyone ever has in all my lifetime of relationships.  And we were both only 15. 

I wish I could say the same for both sides of the story.  I was his first kiss, apparently his first girlfriend and the biggest bitch I could be at my age.  When he first expressed interest I was still with my Freshman year boyfriend (Kevin) who used to beat the snot out of me.  I was too afraid of him to stand up for myself or leave.  I had this great best friend, who wanted to be with me, talked me out of a suicide attempt once after Kevin had whupped up on me and was always there for me.  Idiot that I was stayed with Kevin because it’s what I thought was what our families expected of me.  It was, but eventually I tried to think for myself and was somewhat successful.  I decided to date my best friend instead even though I was scared out of my mind. 

I had never been with someone who knew me that well.  It was a very chaste relationship and was pure in it’s simplicity.  However, I was consumed with sheer panic.  I broke up with him almost every other week.  When my friends said we wasn’t in the right social circle, boom.  I dumped him.  Then I missed him, and would beg him to take me back.  This cycle continued on until my parents got involved.  My parents, mainly my Mother hated him with a passion.  She was sure that he was no less than evil and she would stop at nothing to keep me away from him.  Imagine your parents grounding you in high school for an undetermined amount of time.  I was grounded for the boyfriend I had and the only release from the punishment was when I broke up with him.  I was stubborn, but after a few weeks of no TV or phone, a teenage girl crumbles.  It’s still clear as day in my mind.  We were in the band storage room after a football game and I broke up with him yet again and he slammed one of the locker doors and I saw he was crying.  I wanted to run after him, but something inside me knew it was done for good.  It was easier to wallow in my own pain and regret than continue to hurt him over and over.  Over the years I took solace in my emotional pain thinking that I deserved to be this miserable and kept it as a reminder to never toy with someone’s feelings again.  The teenage girl in me pined away for ‘the way we were’ until this week.

Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, and then social networking we got back in touch.  Several times we’ve talked about hanging out for beer and this week we actually went to the bar.  There was about 10 minutes of awkwardness and then it was almost like ‘old times’  We caught up on our lives in the almost 11 years since we’d graduated and last seen each other.  The conversation went back to our past and I learned things I never knew, and he remembered things I had completely forgotten.  I laughed until I cried, beating my hand on the bar as I had trouble breathing around my hysterical peals of laughter.  How could I have forgotten the saga of  him trying out and playing on a sports team and the nickname that followed him after that.  My friends and I had nicknamed him ‘Lawnmower Man’ but the one he was given on the field was downright funny.  I almost spit out my beer when he even remembered my favorite band (but MySpace gets the assist on that memory).  I also thought it odd that I can’t remember the last time I heard a song by Live who we went to see in concert one summer, yet the bar played three songs by them.  Apparently I had started honing my skills as a tease back in the day also.  I was still learning to flirt back then but I guess some parts were good enough to be remembered. 

It was strange sitting beside someone I had held on a pedestal for all those years, just having a beer and talking.  When I first went in my hands were shaking so bad I spilled some of my beer when I picked it up.  As soon as I calmed down, I was just happy to be repairing a friendship withsomeone who had once been such a large part of my life before.  True, my closet friends are guys save a few honored females, but I’ve never been as close to any of them as I once was to him.  Granted, we’ll never have several hour long phone marathons ever again.  But to be honest after about 30 minutes on the phone I’m looking for a way out of the conversation.  I’d rather text and email someone all day then pick up a phone for longer than 15 minutes.  Can I be happy with occasional IM’sor emails and a beer once in a while?  Yes I can.  Last night I made peace with my inner teenager. 

I’ll always have a niche carved out for the old him.  The self conscious 15 year old in me still loves the dork in all black and Chuck’s trudging down the hall with his head down.  But we’re much older now and people and emotions change.  Am I attracted to him?  Without a doubt.  Am I curious about what it would have been like if we had slept together?  Obviously.  Am I more concerned with trying to repair an old friendship then anything else?  You betcha. 

I do feel like a weight has been lifted for me.  I know it was something stupid to be dwelling on all these years.  The angels didn’t sing, the clouds didn’t part and the heavens didn’t shine down.  But I finally shut up my interior teenager.  Part of her anyway, lol.  Now, to find another stupid, unresolved issue’s ass to kick in my quest to not hate myself by age 30.  1 year, 2 months,1 week and 6 days to go!

 ”Under The Sun” – Sugar Ray

Now this is somethin’ from back in the day…
I’ll always remember Run DMC
And all the good times
That we had on the beach
Stealing sips from a paper cup
And making out in the sand
Maybe I’m dreaming
Can you tell me…

Do you remember
The summers that lasted so long?
June til September
Was our time to sing all the songs
Do you remember
All of us together
As we grew up under the sun?

I’ll always remember everything we do
Rockin’ the eighties blastin’ KROQ
I remember Culture Club
The Clash, and Men Without Hats
Seems kind of funny right now
But it’s taking me back
We’d always sing along
And laugh out loud at ourselves
Don’t want to stop dreaming
Can you tell me?

Do you remember
The summers that lasted so long?
June til September
Was our time to sing all the songs
Do you remember
All of us together
As we grew up under the sun?

I want to rewind every time
‘Cause the words have so much meaning
They were there when nobody cared
Always knew what I was feeling
Stay tonight don’t leave me reminiscing
All I do is wind up missing you
Are you missing
Are you missing me?
na na na

Do you remember
The summers that lasted so long?
June til September
Was our time to sing all the songs
Do you remember
All of us together
As we grew up under the sun?