N.B.T. ~ Ohana Means Family. Family Means No One Is Left Behind – Or Forgotten

October 29th, 2009 by IamDraven

Everyone who knows me knows I’m adopted.  Although I was placed with an awesome family, I’ve never forgotten that I was an orphan and I’ve always longed to find my biological family, just to fill the empty space in my heart/soul/life.  With the news that the woman we believe to be my birth mother dying from gun shot wound when I was 18, I was devastated.  I just kind of buried it, didn’t finish fully grieving on it.  I could imagine going through what these two men just had…

Ron Ryba was a high school football star when he gave up his newborn son for adoption in late 1975. A few weeks later, Phil Bloete was adopted by a New Jersey couple. When the two men finally met decades later, they thought their long search for answers was over. Instead, they have more questions than ever.

Ryba, a Cockeysville, Md., businessman, had wondered for decades what happened to the boy he and his high school sweetheart, Kathy Butler, turned over the Catholic Charities of Trenton, N.J.
“I wanted him to know that he was born out of love and I had given him up as a gift,” Ryba said, who explained that he and the baby’s 16-year-old mother decided their son deserved a better upbringing than they could provide.
The young couple eventually split up and married others. They have children of their own and, although they stay in touch, live separate lives, according to the Baltimore Sunyou. Over the years, Catholic Charities sent Ryba baby pictures and reports assuring him the child was doing well.
Ryba and Bloete, a high school English teacher, started writing to each other through Catholic Charities five years ago, when the younger man decided he was ready to meet his biological parents. In 2004, they went to a Philadelphia Phillies game and immediately bonded in what they thought was a long-awaited father-and-son reunion.
The two grew so close that Ryba decided to add Bloete to his will last year. The results of the DNA tests Ryba’s lawyer required shocked everyone.
Two sets of tests showed there was “zero percent chance” Bloete was related to Ryba or Butler.
“Now I realize we don’t know who or where our son is. And then I realize Phillip has no origins,” Ryba said in a Baltimore Sun interview, recalling the moment the test results were confirmed.
“I am just looking into a little bit of history about where I came from, what my actual birthday is, and so far, I don’t know,” Bloete told ABC.

Both men feel let down by Catholic Charities, which has been unable to come up with any information to untangle the mess.
There could have been a mix-up at the hospital or at the agency, Catholic Charities of Trenton’s Executive Director Francis Dolan said to ABC.
“It’s a very frustrating situation. … I share the frustration,” Dolan added.
Ron Ryba and Phil Bloete are not father and son, but they are friends bound together by a heart-wrenching mystery. Where is Ron’s son? Who are Phil’s birth parents? They remain determined to find out.
“We’ll just take this journey together; we’ll do it together,” Ryba said.

In The Blink Of An Eye…

October 24th, 2009 by IamDraven

Or lack of a blink of an eye.  Either or.

Monday morning I woke up with bad right ear pain.  Not my ear canal, not like an ear ache, like my ear its self hurt.  I had a bit of a headache above my right eye also.  I was diagnosed with cluster headaches a few years ago so I didn’t think much of it.  Later that night I had a numb spot on my right cheekbone.  It gets really cold in my room when the seasons change, and I frequent have a cold nose in the mornings when I wake.  I thought perhaps that I was up gaming with that side near a window, it had gotten too cold.  I was a bit worried, but I did a stroke scale, asked my Mom if I had any dropping in my face.  She was no help at all, so I said a prayer and went to bed.

Around 4 am my cat Jasper started acting strange.  Sometimes he’ll wake me up in the night, but he pretty much attacked me and wouldn’t leave me alone.  I had to get up and physically remove him from my room.  When I went to lay back down I realized that I couldn’t completely close my right eye.  I ran to the bathroom and started screaming as I looked in the mirror.  I woke my Mother and told her she needed to take me to the Emergency Department.  I did another stroke scale on myself but I was so scared I wasn’t sure what was going on.  I was saying a prayer for Bell’s Palsy and not a stroke.

This is a photo of me when I first got to the hospital.  The involvement is only on my right cheek.

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An hour after I was there you can see more right sided swelling and the droop start to move up my face.

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I had sent a text to Erik when I was on my way into the hospital because I was scared to death.  The room I was in didn’t have cell reception and God bless him, when he woke up and got the text he blew up my phone, and when he didn’t get an answer he googled which hospital I worked at, found the E.D. phone number and tracked me down.  In the middle of crying to him on the phone he told me if he wanted me to he’d call off work and come to PA.  Of course I wanted him to, and true to his word, he came to PA.  I’ve been trying to learn to lean on people with out fear of being let down and I have to say, I’m glad Erik is a stand up guy.  While I was several hours into my E.D. visit I was waiting for Erik to get here and it was confirmed I did not have a stroke but had dense Bell’s Palsy. It spread to my shoulder and up to my scalp.  I’ve regained feeling in my shoulder but part of my neck is still numb.

It’s either caused by Lyme disease or variations of the Herpes virus.  (Note, I do not have Gonnesyphaherpealaids, it turns out Chicken Pox is a form of the Herpes virus which instead of getting shingles later in life it manifested as Bell’s)  I have to be tested for Lyme’s for a few months until it comes out positive or negative.  Lyme’s takes months to show in blood work and my results were 0.90% which is midrange that I may be developing it.  I’m on anti-virals for the pox strain, antibiotics for the Lyme and steroids out the wazoo to take the nerve swelling down.  I can’t wear my contacts, I have to use eye drops frequently and sleep with a patch over my eye.  Because I can’t blink my eye dries out and I’m at risk for corneal abrasions.

Erik has been wonderful.  Words can’t even express.  He even tells me my eye patch is sexy, lol.

IMG00067He made it official the day I was diagnosed, we’re an ‘actual couple’ now.  No more calling him my ‘insignificant other’ he goes by boyfriend now.  I’ve been even more of a mess than usual since this happened.  (PMS doesn’t help and I’m really depressed about this whole thing)  There’s a 60% chance I’ll recover, 20% chance I’ll have a permanent deficit and 20% chance I’ll go back to normal.  I’m preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best.  I’m really self conscious about it.  A few people have been rude to me, and I don’t enjoy being treated like a side show freak.  He’s been amazing.  That’s all I can say.  I’m sorry I’m a pain in the ass babe, thank you for putting up with me. :)

Today is 6 days since onset.  I just took some photos in his bathroom to show the full progression.

IMG00070I just look slightly bummed.  The right side of my face is swollen, almost like I had dental work, and my brow looks like I got it waxed crooked.

To show how serious it really is, this is me smiling, and squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I can.  I feel like 2-Face.

IMG00071So there’s the long and short of it.  I wanted to let everyone know what was going on.  And why I probably won’t be out much.  I can go to work, but I can’t stick anyone because I can’t blink so I can’t protect myself from biological splashes.  I can only work in the outpatient lab during the week and do paperwork.  I’m losing time by not being able to work on the weekends.  It wouldn’t be so bad, but trying to get the new SUV running before winter, Christmas coming and Erik and I going away to Philly in two weeks, it couldn’t have happened at a worse time it seems.  All I can do is take the medicine as prescribed and TRY to remain positive.  I have pessimistic tendencies, I wont lie, this is hard.  If anything it’s bringing me full circle in my relationship with God.  I’ve been working on being at peace with my religion, and there’s not much I can do besides leave it in God’s hands.  If you’re religious, please pray for me, if not, sacrifice an earthworm or something, just as long as it’s not cute and cuddly.

::(lopsided) KISSES::

Draven

NBT-Like Ralphie Said, “It’s An Acquired Taste.”

October 13th, 2009 by IamDraven

A Florida woman and her boyfriend face child abuse charges after they allegedly forced her 8-year-old daughter to eat soap as punishment for saying a naughty word.

The girl suffered an allergic reaction after being forced to chew on the soap for 10 minutes, Florida Today reported, citing Palm Bay police.
Adriyanna Herdener, 32, and Wilfredo Rivera, 41, were arrested Friday and charged with neglect of a child and child abuse. They face court hearings in November.
“[The girl] used an expletive and the boyfriend had her eat soap,” Yvonne Martinez, spokeswoman for the Palm Bay Police Department, told Florida Today.
“It caused the girl’s mouth and throat to swell. But they didn’t provide immediate medical care,” Martinez said.
The pair eventually took the child to a hospital after she continued to complain about pain in her throat, Florida Today said. The hospital notified police.
The girl and an 18-month-sibling were placed in state care.