October 24th, 2009 by IamDraven
Or lack of a blink of an eye. Either or.
Monday morning I woke up with bad right ear pain. Not my ear canal, not like an ear ache, like my ear its self hurt. I had a bit of a headache above my right eye also. I was diagnosed with cluster headaches a few years ago so I didn’t think much of it. Later that night I had a numb spot on my right cheekbone. It gets really cold in my room when the seasons change, and I frequent have a cold nose in the mornings when I wake. I thought perhaps that I was up gaming with that side near a window, it had gotten too cold. I was a bit worried, but I did a stroke scale, asked my Mom if I had any dropping in my face. She was no help at all, so I said a prayer and went to bed.
Around 4 am my cat Jasper started acting strange. Sometimes he’ll wake me up in the night, but he pretty much attacked me and wouldn’t leave me alone. I had to get up and physically remove him from my room. When I went to lay back down I realized that I couldn’t completely close my right eye. I ran to the bathroom and started screaming as I looked in the mirror. I woke my Mother and told her she needed to take me to the Emergency Department. I did another stroke scale on myself but I was so scared I wasn’t sure what was going on. I was saying a prayer for Bell’s Palsy and not a stroke.
This is a photo of me when I first got to the hospital. The involvement is only on my right cheek.

An hour after I was there you can see more right sided swelling and the droop start to move up my face.

I had sent a text to Erik when I was on my way into the hospital because I was scared to death. The room I was in didn’t have cell reception and God bless him, when he woke up and got the text he blew up my phone, and when he didn’t get an answer he googled which hospital I worked at, found the E.D. phone number and tracked me down. In the middle of crying to him on the phone he told me if he wanted me to he’d call off work and come to PA. Of course I wanted him to, and true to his word, he came to PA. I’ve been trying to learn to lean on people with out fear of being let down and I have to say, I’m glad Erik is a stand up guy. While I was several hours into my E.D. visit I was waiting for Erik to get here and it was confirmed I did not have a stroke but had dense Bell’s Palsy. It spread to my shoulder and up to my scalp. I’ve regained feeling in my shoulder but part of my neck is still numb.
It’s either caused by Lyme disease or variations of the Herpes virus. (Note, I do not have Gonnesyphaherpealaids, it turns out Chicken Pox is a form of the Herpes virus which instead of getting shingles later in life it manifested as Bell’s) I have to be tested for Lyme’s for a few months until it comes out positive or negative. Lyme’s takes months to show in blood work and my results were 0.90% which is midrange that I may be developing it. I’m on anti-virals for the pox strain, antibiotics for the Lyme and steroids out the wazoo to take the nerve swelling down. I can’t wear my contacts, I have to use eye drops frequently and sleep with a patch over my eye. Because I can’t blink my eye dries out and I’m at risk for corneal abrasions.
Erik has been wonderful. Words can’t even express. He even tells me my eye patch is sexy, lol.
He made it official the day I was diagnosed, we’re an ‘actual couple’ now. No more calling him my ‘insignificant other’ he goes by boyfriend now. I’ve been even more of a mess than usual since this happened. (PMS doesn’t help and I’m really depressed about this whole thing) There’s a 60% chance I’ll recover, 20% chance I’ll have a permanent deficit and 20% chance I’ll go back to normal. I’m preparing for the worst, and hoping for the best. I’m really self conscious about it. A few people have been rude to me, and I don’t enjoy being treated like a side show freak. He’s been amazing. That’s all I can say. I’m sorry I’m a pain in the ass babe, thank you for putting up with me.
Today is 6 days since onset. I just took some photos in his bathroom to show the full progression.
I just look slightly bummed. The right side of my face is swollen, almost like I had dental work, and my brow looks like I got it waxed crooked.
To show how serious it really is, this is me smiling, and squeezing my eyes shut as hard as I can. I feel like 2-Face.
So there’s the long and short of it. I wanted to let everyone know what was going on. And why I probably won’t be out much. I can go to work, but I can’t stick anyone because I can’t blink so I can’t protect myself from biological splashes. I can only work in the outpatient lab during the week and do paperwork. I’m losing time by not being able to work on the weekends. It wouldn’t be so bad, but trying to get the new SUV running before winter, Christmas coming and Erik and I going away to Philly in two weeks, it couldn’t have happened at a worse time it seems. All I can do is take the medicine as prescribed and TRY to remain positive. I have pessimistic tendencies, I wont lie, this is hard. If anything it’s bringing me full circle in my relationship with God. I’ve been working on being at peace with my religion, and there’s not much I can do besides leave it in God’s hands. If you’re religious, please pray for me, if not, sacrifice an earthworm or something, just as long as it’s not cute and cuddly.
::(lopsided) KISSES::
Draven